Gaslighting: What Is It? How Do You Avoid It?

Posted on 18th May 2023

Have you had conversations where the reality presented to you didn't match at all with your perception of what happened?

Perhaps their view overrode your own perception and you ended up doubting your ability to interpret facts?

If this happens consistently with the same person, be careful: you've probably been gaslighted. And that's ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ.

The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play called "Gas Light," where a husband manipulates the gas lights in their home to convince his wife that she is going insane. Today, it describes narcissists' manipulation and control over their victims by twisting reality and undermining their ability to interpret facts.

This is not only unfair: long-term exposure to gaslighting can be extremely damaging, especially at a young age as it triggers constant confusion, undermine confidence and impact the nervous system.

This confusion generates a constant state of alertness which may lead to muscular tension, difficulty in relaxing and sleeping and less enjoyment of life.

Accepting such behaviour is NEVER worth it. NEVER.

Keep in mind that narcissists cannot admit their fault, so they'll never change.If you can, walk away immediately. If you can't, build healthy boundaries immediately (in the comments below there's a free webinar and tool for you).

Here's how you spot gaslighters:

๐ŸŸฅ ๐——๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜†: they deny the reality of a situation, even if it's blatantly obvious. They try to convince you that you're overreacting or imagining things. They won't give up until you agree with them. And you will, at some point because they will exhaust you.

๐ŸŸฅ ๐—•๐—น๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: they shift the blame onto others and shame them for their faults. They'll succeed at making you feel guilty or responsible for something that is not your fault.

๐ŸŸฅ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—น๐˜† ๐—น๐˜†๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: they lie, sometimes with no apparent purpose. They tell small lies to make themselves look better and big lies to manipulate a situation in their favour.

๐ŸŸฅ ๐—œ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ: they isolate their victims from friends and family, making it harder for them to seek support or advice, so the victim feels more vulnerable and easier to control.

๐ŸŸฅ ๐—ช๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป: they withhold important information or use it as a tool to manipulate their victims. Keeping the victim in the dark makes it easier to control him/her.

Now, if you just realised that you've been or are being gaslighted, don't despair.

The LAST THING you should do is to confront the person - save yourself from further bruises and seek a therapist specialised in narcissistic traumas: trust their advice.

Any other suggestions to help spot gaslighters?

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